Welcome back to my faithful readers!
You’ve been waiting months for my return, anxiously awaiting my snarky comments and intelligent observations on our favorite train wreck of a show, haven’t you?
Hello?
Why do I hear crickets?
Kidding aside, the moment you’ve been waiting for since David Cook won back in May 2008 is finally here; the season premiere of American Idol. Now most of you are asking yourselves, “why is Nick starting his reviews now? Doesn’t he usually wait until the final 12 are chosen?”
Well, usually yes, but since most of you can’t wait that long, I decided to start early this year, and discuss/debate the various contestants who stand a chance of winning, and the ones that scare us how delusional they are. I’ll write my review after the second night of auditions, thereby making sure I give a thorough review of all the freaks, geeks, divas, drama queens, and breakout stars that dare stand before the judges. (much thanks to TVsquad.com for their thorough reviews, which helped me include some of the contestant names)
So as most of you already know, since the departure of executive producer Nigel Lythgoe (who is devoting his full time to So You Think You Can Dance), this season of Idol brings with it several changes, not the least of which is the addition of new fourth permanent judge, Kara DioGuardi. My first impression of Kara? I like her.
She’s got spunk. She’s got brains and gives constructive advice. (unlike idiotic Paula compliments like “first of all, you’re beautiful” – ugh)
Also, her resume is no joke. She’s collaborated on plenty of well known songs, the most recent of which was Pink’s "Sober".
Other changes include bringing back the “Wild Card” round, which is a process they used in the show’s first seasons. This process involves the judges bringing back one contestant each that was recently eliminated. (both Clay Aiken and Jennifer Hudson were wild card contestants. – makes you think, right?)
There are a couple of more changes, but those are the major ones. (although I do like that they’re going to reduce the number of theme nights.)
To kick things off, we‘re given the opportunity to view that crazy YouTube video of a bunch of little girls losing their minds crying over David Archuleta not winning last season.Is it bad that I still laugh at this video? Am I laughing because I find little girls crying amusing? Am I laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of getting that upset over a reality show? (even if they are little girls?) Or am I laughing at the fact that David Archuleta is not living in poverty or shame by coming in #2. (I tried to hate his release, “Crush”....I really did...but dammit it’s too catchy. )
The first audition night starts off in Phoenix, AZ, and if it proved anything, it’s proven it could produce just as many strange contestants as any other town. Here are some of the contestants that stood out for me, both good and bad, and my first thoughts about each:
1)Tuan Nguyen - He was the dude who was half-Vietnamese with the giant afro. But he also danced. Oh...the dancing. 2)Emily Hughes - This was the girl whose mother was a singer, and who got a bunch of tattoos so she would never be able to work in an office. (I have to admit, that’s not a terrible idea, but what happens when she gets older?) She sang Heart’s “Barracuda”, a song now synonymous with Guitar Hero. Overall impression? I like her. I liked her tone, and she kept pretty on key throughout the song. She made it through, but in true AI soap opera style, we’re gonna find out how she breaks it to her band. (yes, she was in a band, bound for a European tour which is no longer on their horizon)
3)Randy Madden - If this guy is 28, then Paula is a lyrical genius. How this guy made it to this point I’ll never know. Not only was he bad, but his crying didn’t just border desperation, it bled out like a neck wound. Don’t get me wrong, I still cry when I watch Beaches, or an emotional Grey’s Anatomy moment…but even I was forced to say “Dude, man up!” Yeesh.
4)Michael Gurr - Scary. And I mean both in the physical and mental sense. I couldn’t even describe to you what he sounded like, but it wasn’t singing. What captivated me was not only could you not understand what he was singing, but he had all the judges with their mouths open, wondering what they were seeing. Well, all the judges, save for Randy, who hid behind some papers cracking up. I have to admit, Randy losing it behind the papers made me laugh. Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, the guy starts to sing a second song by Kara. I don’t think I need to tell you how this ended.
5)X-Ray (Aundre Caraway)- Original songs hardly ever go over well. Do these people even watch previous seasons?
6)Arianna Afsar - this girl started a group called "Adopt a Grand-friend”. I liked her voice. It was controlled, and had almost a raspy texture to it. She’s also pretty cute, which can get you pretty far. (David Archuleta should know)
7)Elijah Scarlett - Wow. This guy has possibly the deepest voice I have ever heard in my life. My first thoughts were that he was going to be a horrible singer. But then I thought, and then Randy said it….voice actor! He has it made! He has the perfect voice for any animated feature! Seriously, there’s a gold mine in that voice, he just needs to be steered to the right place to use it.
<---8)Lea Golde - wrote over 100 songs, and is one of Kara’s biggest fans. She wasn’t very good. Judges and I both agree. Next.9)Stevie Wright - was named after Stevie Nicks. But was she as good? I think so, because I think she was the best of the night. Big Katherine McPhee-like voice, which helps carry big notes. Keeping an eye on this one.
10) Michael Sarver – has a wife, two kids, and works on an oil rig. I really did NOT expect that voice to come out of his body. (as one of the judges pointed out as well) It will be interesting to see how far he makes it.
11)Katrina Darrell – how should you remember this girl? Well, she’s the one who decided to wear a bikini to the audition. Can you guess how this went? Let me enlighten you; Randy and Simon say yes, Kara and Paula hesitate. What makes this worse? A sing off occurs between Katrina and Kara. Personally, I think Kara was nitpicking and insulted by the fact that she wore a bikini to the audition. I don’t blame her, because it was an obvious ploy to get through. What’s ironic is I actually thought she wasn’t that bad. I truly believe she would have made it through anyway. But she makes it through…lets see how she does in Hollywood, where wearing a bikini won’t really save her.12)Cody Sheldon – this Emo teen loves to make horror films. I didn’t expect him to be as good as he was, so I’m curious to see how far he’ll go. Far as I can remember, I don’t think there has been an Emo contestant.
13)Alex Wagner-Trugman – a fellow geek! I was rooting for him! This poor fellow taught himself to sing in his closet. As luck would have it, the closet had mold in it, so he got really sick. (umm...am I the only one who cleans out their closet periodically?) That aside, he wasn’t that bad. Good tone, and decent voice. Curious to see how well he does during the Hollywood rounds.
14)Scott McIntyre - this is the one audition that stood out for me. Why? The guy is legally blind. And, he’s GOOD. He got through, and I am definitely keeping my eyes on him. (hopefully his eye-candy brother/friend who was guiding him comes along too...but I digress). I think he would add a great dynamic to the show that’s never been seen before.
Night Two: The Kansas City Auditions
1)Ashley Anderson - Smart girl! She decides to sing a song by Leona Lewis song and co-written by Simon Cowell! Despite getting the words wrong a couple of times, she manages to sing it well enough to impress the judges and make it through. Simon can be swayed so easy by a pretty face. And now that he’s single, well...heh.
2)Von Smith - Whenever any contestant attempts to sing “Over the Rainbow" it could turn out to be a disaster. I admit, he has a distinct look, but I thought he over-sang the song. He made the song a lot bigger then it was. I didn’t think he was that good, but he was good enough to at least make it to Hollywood.
3)Michael Castro - Well, well well! A blast from last season comes back into the fold! Michael, brother of last season’s Jason Castro, decides to audition, following in his big brother’s footsteps. Surprise number one; he has a pink Mohawk thing, and looks nothing like Jason, but has that same laid back kind of charm. Number two; he only just started singing 20 days before the audition. Final surprise? He’s really good. Surprisingly good in fact. His brother made it to 4th place, so I’m curious to see how far he’ll go.
4)Matt Breitzke - Big burly family man, who’s appearance doesn’t match his voice. He’s pretty good, but I have to agree with Randy on this one. He did sound more like a bar singer then an Idol. But I could be wrong. He reminds of Matt Rogers from a few seasons ago.
5)Jessica Furney - I remember this girl distinctly because she’s the one who lives with her 93-yr-old grandmother, and sang an amazing few bars of Joplin's "Cry Baby". It was really soulful, and her voice sounded great!
6)Asia McClain - I remember thinking when I saw her walk in with her sister that this was gonna be one of the horror auditions. Turns out, only the rapping her and her sister did was the horror part. Asia has a great voice, and if she can get away from the rap, she’ll have a very good shot at the top.
7)Danny Gokey - This guy had one of the saddest back stories I’ve ever heard. Four weeks before the audition, his wife passed away from a recurring heart problem she had. This guy practically broke down just telling the camera, so right then and there, I was already rooting for the guy to be good. He was, and looks like I didn’t even need to pray. He was really good, and he goes to Hollywood. I’d like to see him go far.
8)Anoop Desai - Never, ever in a million years did I expect the soulful, beautifully toned voice to come out of this guy’s mouth! Obviously the guy was of Indian descent, but man oh man, he sounded nothing like an average Indian. He’s definitely gonna stand out. (unlike Sanjaya, who stood out for the wrong reasons)
9)Andrew Lang - Why? Dear God, why does every season have at least one dumb moron who thinks having a gimmick will get him/her through to the next round? This poor schlub decides to have two of his friends come in as cheerleaders to introduce him, and stand by him. He literally shot himself in the foot, because despite the crazy cheerleaders, Randy said YES! Until…Kara and Paula asked him to sing a few bars of a different song. Guess what? Randy changed his mind. This dude ruined it for himself. I think he would have made it through if he didn’t overdue it with the cheerleaders. 10)Michael Nicewonder - This guy said he was related to Hank Williams, Jr. Was he just as talented? Not even close. He sings an original song, which to me sounded like he was making up as he went along. What a train wreck.
11)Mia Conley - I remember this girl only because she dared…DARED to sing "Lovin' You" by Minnie Riperton. Yes, you know the one...it has that really, really high, impossible to reach unless you’re Mariah Carey note that no Idol contestant should attempt. Do you want to take a guess how it went? My cracked glasses should give you a hint.
12)Lil Rounds - What a breath of fresh air. This poor woman’s family was displaced because a tornado hit their home. They are living out of a motel. But what really makes this woman memorable was her voice. She was really good!! And even better, she doesn’t even realize how good she is. I want to see her go far, because it’s contestants like her who really appreciate what the show can do for them.
So that’s it everyone. Week one is done!
What did you guys think? What contestants stood out for you? Who was memorable?
Do you like new judge Kara DioGuardi? Let your voices be heard! Take the poll!
See you guys back here next week, where I’ll analyze the next batch of contestants!
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