Project Runway - Week Six

"It looks like a pterodactyl out of a gay Jurassic Park."

With this one statement, you can see why I idolize the fabulous Tim Gunn and his advice. The man can break down what's wrong or right with an outfit with just one perfectly metaphorical sentence. Brilliant!

In case you don’t remember, Tim declared that beautiful statement after seeing Mr. Radioactive Tan’s design. Personally, I think Tim was being kind. Drag or no no drag, the outfit was a bit much. Actually, scratch that…the outfit was alright, it was the “wings” that were out of place and a bit over the top.

This week’s challenge seems to sparked the show for me, and apparently many others. The challenge was simple enough; design an outfit for a drag queen, which best exemplifies that particular drag queen’s style and/or personality.
I read several reviews of last night’s episode, and almost all of them agreed that this challenge was one of the most interesting and exciting challenges since last season’s WWE Divas challenge. Wonderful Season Four finalist Chris March guested this episode to lend his expertise. (though why RuPaul was chosen as a guest judge and not him, I don’t get. RuPaul is a famous drag queen who wears outfits. Chris March designs them. I think March was better qualified to judge, but I guess RuPaul is more “famous”. Sigh.)

Much as I personally don’t like the winning outfit’s designer, I have to agree it did turn out to be the best of the bunch. Blayne has gotten on my last nerve. Seriously, his blatant attempt on being this season’s Christian Siriano is so off the mark, he winds up looking like an idiot. His parading around in fabric, proclaiming his drag name as “Neonlicious”; his constant references to anything being “licious”. I had enough. Apparently so have the other designers, since most of them candidly complained. He needs to go for sure, but the designer that went home needed to go home first. (he also needs a reality check.)

Personally, I liked this challenge. It made it just different enough to give the competition a new flare. I’ve had my fair share of drag queen experiences. (not that I’ve ever done it…I’d make a very ugly woman!) But I’ve been to a few drag shows here in NYC; a few of the bars I go to often have drag MCs to move events along. (In fact, I’ve actually attended a few of the drag queen’s performances featured on this challenge, especially Hedda Lettuce.)

Ok, time to stop dragging this out, and chat up this week’s outfits!

Yeesh…I heard your groans. Fine! No more punning.
Now let me stop dragging my feet and get to the designs. (sometimes I shouldn’t say words.):


Blayne – The only words that came to mind when I saw this outfit was “over the top”. Mind you, looking at the drag queen wearing the outfit beforehand, I didn’t think that was possible, but somehow “Mr. Licious” makes her look more outrageous then normal. Those awful “wings” just did not work, which was proven when she walked down the runway. I thought the outfit itself was okay, but it didn’t blow me away. I think it was just good enough to get by. Honestly, if Blayne would spend more time actually designing and less time trying to be the next breakout star, I could actually start to tolerate him. He needs to go next. If not for his designs, but for his constant uses of “licious”.


Jerell - I didn’t hate it. (at least not as much as the judges). The judges and I were disagreed on that point; but what I did agree with was the fact that it didn’t have enough “pop” to be a drag outfit. A high collar that gets put up? That’s Jerell’s idea of “pop”? It was a boring dress for a drag queen, but not quite as bad as other designers. (looking at you, Danny-boy) The sequined dress was too long, as the judges pointed out, so it definitely looked as if it didn’t fit right. I don’t think this was weak enough to go home, so I’m glad they gave Jerell another chance.


Kenley – Wow, was she lucky she added feathers! Those were the only elements that gave this outfit the “drag” look. (well, that, and the man-ish woman wearing it). I know Kenley said she was going for “old Hollywood” with her design, but I didn’t think she was going to be so literal. Obviously, the look is Marilyn Monroe, and it was pulled off rather flawlessly. It wasn’t that quite outrageous, so Kenley gets a pass for next week, which I totally agree with. She met the parameters of the challenge, did her own take on it, and still pulled off a decent outfit for her client. However, it did lack that certain “spark” that would have put it into the “outrageous” category. The feathers helped a lot, but take those away, and what do you got? A cheap silver sequined dress. And that’s it.


Leanne - I will give Leanne credit, this doesn’t look that bad for a drag outfit. I like the skirt, but that weird collar thing just seems out of place. Perhaps it was the way it was constructed, but it just doesn’t seem like it belongs on the dress. It makes the whole dress seem like it was poorly constructed. Not much else to say about it though. At first I thought the skirt was a bit too bulky, but once that outfit strutted down the runway, I saw that it worked with the drag queen well.


Stella – I’m a bit in shock. Call her whatever you want; crazy, clueless, and a bit nuts. But Stella churned out a pretty decent outfit for her drag queen. I’m not sure I would have went with the picnic table plaid pattern, but in the end Stella made it work. I love the way the dress ends in a long train, sort of like a wedding gown. Also, Stella’s touches are evident, but they were just enough to help elevate the dress, and not weigh it down. The cut on the bottom half of the dress was a perfect feature to give a nice sneak peak to the gorgeous legs underneath. Well done, Stella!


Suede – I happen to have caught a couple of Hedda Lettuce’s performances here in NYC, and let me say she is just as sassy in real life as she is on TV. Some may think, “Oh she’s causing drama because she’s on TV.” Not so. That is her, from the few times that I’ve seen her. And of all people, she gets our friend Suede as her designer. (who, amazingly enough kept the third person self-references this week to….nothing!) I hated this green monstrosity. I know for a fact that Hedda only wore it with pride and made peace with Suede, only so she wouldn’t come off as a total b**ch on television. I guarantee you, I go catch one of Hedda’s shows right now, she will not be so nice about her comments on that dress. When she described it as being “Godzilla-like”, I thought it was the perfect description. That awful awful green color; those florets running down the long-sleeved gloves; that ugly zebra-like pattern on top. I could go on and on. I have no idea how Suede got a pass for next week, but my only guess is that his outfit was a bit more “drag” then Jerell’s. Suede is very lucky the other dresses stank a lot worse then his.


Terri – Quite a crazy outfit, but it worked! (at least it did for the client) Terri’s drag queen wasn’t your typical drag queen. She was both a mix of both feminine and masculine, almost like an ersatz Marilyn Manson. She totally rocked this outfit, and she sold it perfectly with a strut down the runway and her flare of attitude. The white robe-like sleeves were perfectly accented by the blue stripes, and the red top completely complimented the outfit. I think the drag queen herself helped sell this outfit, but it fit her so well, how could she not? I don’t think the yellow ribbons really added anything to the outfit, but it didn’t take anything away in the end either. Terri is really starting to turn out to be one of my favorites. (then again she already hooked me with her “vajayjay” line from last week.


Joe – Well, Joe should pat himself on the back for a truly awesome drag outfit. He should be thankful he knows how to take suggestions, because if it wasn’t for his drag queen’s suggestion of lowering the collar, and making it more into a “sailor look”, this would have looked like a pink version of those awful space suits they used to wear in the 60’s. The simple act of lowering the collar into a sailor-type look changed the entire outfit from “Ugh” to “wow”. I absolutely love the placement of the belt, hiding the “candy” just like Michael Kors said. (or was it RuPaul?) All in all, my personal feelings aside about Joe, this absolutely deserved to win. (also, Joe prancing around in a bra? Funny. Blayne prancing around in pink fabric? Annoying.)


Korto – I would have been just as happy if this outfit won. This dress fit this plus-size drag queen perfectly. I am really impressed with Korto’s sewing skills, because every compliment the judges showered her with were well-deserved. The pull-away skirt was a perfect addition to give the dress some “pop”, and the fire design on the shoulder was just gaudy enough to make the dress fun, but not over the top. I am way impressed with Korto at this point in the competition, which is quite a change from what I felt about her “garden-vegetable” dress from the first challenge. If Joe would have left the collar up like he originally intended, this would have won easily over the rest of the designs.


Keith – Is there really much else to say about this feathery mess of an outfit? It looks like the mutated offspring of a penguin and a dove. I have no idea why Keith is obsessed with designing with these “swatches” of fabric. It’s one thing if he was good at it, and he could make a dress look fitted. But he isn’t good at it. Each and every dress I’ve seen Keith produce to this point has been one ugly mess of a dress after another. This one was no exception. If I could take a black and white two tone dress, throw it in a shredder, the ending result would be equivalent to this ridiculous frock. The only thing that saved “Mr. Swatches” from elimination was that Daniel did not adhere to the needs of the challenge. Again.


Daniel – I’ll give you this; the dress was nice, perfect for a cocktail party on a boat on the Riviera. But that wasn’t what the challenge asked for, is it? I just don’t understand Daniel. Not only does he not listen to the parameters of the challenge, he doesn’t listen to Tim Gunn’s advice (which we’ve learned from last seasons, is hardly ever off the mark), he does whatever he wants, regardless of what the challenge calls for. And he’s delusional, thinking he has high end taste, when he clearly has not showed this in his work. He said adding sequins and other such accessories would make his outfit too gaudy. Umm…hello? Daniel? Have you ever SEEN a drag queen? What makes you possibly think what you created was anywhere near a drag outfit?! It didn’t even come close. In the Olympic outfit challenge, Daniel made a cocktail dress. For this challenge, he made….a cocktail dress! I give up Daniel, if you’re this delusional (and arrogant) then I hope Wesley has a lot of patience in your relationship. (in case you didn’t catch earlier posts, former contestant Wesley (the school boy shorts dude) and Daniel are a couple. They started their romance when they met on the show.)

So did you guys agree with me? Are you as done with Blayne and his “licious” as I am? Did you think this was one of the better challenges of past seasons? Did the right person go home?
You know, almost none of you are commenting since I started this blog. I’m starting to think some of you aren’t really reading it! (considering most of you prompted me to start this, I hope I’m wrong!)
So let me hear you!! Chat it up!! Until next week…..auf wiedersehen!

Project Runway - Week Five

Welcome back to yet another week of bad fashion choices and annoying personalities!! No, I’m not speaking of the next season of Flavor of Love, I’m talking about this week’s latest episode of Project Runway.

This week, the designers were challenged to create an outfit for special guest judge Brooke Shields’ character on Lipstick Jungle to wear. The outfit needed to be something that would be appropriate for both working and going out afterwards; basically, a day to night outfit. I remember this challenge from past seasons, but this time they added the accessory of it being for Brooke’s character on her TV show. The prize, appropriately enough, would be that Brooke would wear the winning design on a future episode of Jungle.

This was the first “team” challenge of the season, so there were quite a few interesting match ups. Team challenges always bring the drama, so I was waiting for the fur to start flying. I was not disappointed. There wasn’t so much friction, but damn, the lines that were said were hysterical. (Terri is my new favorite, solely based on her description of Suede in her confessional moment. My God, I’m still laughing as I write this. If you missed it, read on to find out what she said)

As for the outfits that came out of this challenge, I would say I liked half of them. The other half? Ugh. Off the mark. One outfit in particular screamed “this designer doesn’t have a clue”. (Looking at you Blayne)

Also, the count of annoying things is down this week:
Number of times “licious” is said by Blayne: 1
Number of times Suede refers to himself in the third person: 1

I know I talked enough, so lets get to the designs:

Jerell & Stella – Talk about your odd couple! But you know what? They churned out, in my opinion, the best outfit out of them all. (yes, including the winning outfit ---totally disagreed with that) The outfit was chic, with just a touch of sex appeal that wasn’t too over the top. It was a perfect blend of office business, and post-work festivities. Even “out there” as she is, Stella managed to tone down her craziness enough to produce a very stylish outfit with Jerell. Let’s be honest, Jerell needed to keep his head in the game after the disaster that walked down the runway last week. This outfit most definitely deserved to win, but apparently the judges were smoking something off camera, so it came in second. Good job for this team!


Joe & Korto – I don’t care if they did “tighten” up the top, it still looked like “a giant sweet potato”, as my idol, Tim Gunn described it. Korto got upset with Joe for not mentioning his feelings about the top sooner. While I do agree, Joe should have spoken up, the over all design to me is flawed. The top is just too baggy for my tastes, and the color is completely wrong. The orange color is too bright for an office environment, and the sleeves are way too open ended. I like the way the front of the top was constructed, but the over all look screamed “sweet potato!”. But out of all the dress choices, I was okay giving this one a pass to the next round. (only because two of the others dresses were more horrid by comparison).



Suede & Terri – I nearly fell off my sofa laughing, thanks to Terri. To remind you, Suede was being all whiny, “I’m not comfortable cutting this”, whiny, anxious, whiny, being overly careful, etc…did I mention whiny? It was getting on Terri’s nerves, having to babysit Suede through some of the design process. (as was evident when she was standing over him, while he sewed some of the top). This is, of course, is what prompted arguably one of the best lines in Project Runway history. In her confessional, Terri says, and I quote; “I don't know what he's packing, balls or vajayjay, but he needs to work that out. I ain't got no babies, ain't nobody sucking on my t--ties, so please, man up.''
I will give you a few minutes to recover from laughing before I continue.

As for the final outfit they produced? I would say not bad at all. I think the judges got it right when they gave them a pass to next week. While I didn’t think it was a winning top design, I didn’t think it was bad enough to land in the bottom. I think the style was a bit more “going out” wear, then business wear, but over all, a very cute outfit. Love the combo of the black slacks with the colorful top, so props to this duo! ……heh heh…”vajayjay”…definitely liking Terri.



Kenley & Keith – I didn’t hate this dress. Didn’t think it was better then Jerell and Stella’s however. I thought the skirt was a bit too long, but I did like the top. The colors were fresh and made the outfit pop, and the added feature of the breakaway sleeve were well constructed. But besides the top, I thought the skirt was a bit much. One of the judges commented how it might be a little too “cocktail” dressy for the workplace, and I tend to agree. It looks a bit too casual for a business environment, but not more then some other designers. (looking at you, Mr. Tan-orexic) I didn’t think this outfit deserved to take the win, but it wasn’t the worst. Win or no win, Keith is still failing to really impress me. And what was with Kenley’s inappropriate laughing at Daniel? I thought they were buddies? Talk about awkward. She was pretty much laughing at his face, dismissing him as a designer. I see future drama building up.



Blayne & Leanne – I’m beginning to think this kid is as clueless to modern fashion trends as Stella is to non-leather fabrics. Where in the world does he get the idea that his super, skin-tight bicycle shorts are appropriate business wear?! For the purposes of the challenge, I don’t think it fit either scenario. I don’t think it was a good business look, nor do I think it was a good “going out” look. It looked sloppy, and as one of the judges put it (I believe it was Kors), “it looks as if she got dressed in the dark”. Ouch. Sad, but true. How did Blayne not go home?! I understand that Kelli’s was an equal mess, but at least Kelli one a challenge (the first one), where as Blayne has won nothing, on top of not even showing us good designs. And don’t get me started on Leanne! The whole “nerdy designer” look is cute, but she needs to speak up on further team ups. Considering the kind of outfits I’ve seen her put out, I don’t believe for a second she thought shorts were a good idea. Finally, both shame and kudos to you Brooke Shields; shame for picking Blayne as one of your design choices to begin with; and kudos for calling him “bratty”. Truer words were never spoken.



Kelli & Daniel – This could have won. I can see the vision of the dress as it could have been, but alas something went terribly wrong along the way. The whole outfit looks ill-fitting. The leopard print just did not look right as a pattern on this dress. And whoa! When that jacket came off to reveal the backless tank top like top, it screamed “call girl”. “Slutty, slutty, slutty” as Michael Kors said. The business look was poorly constructed, and when it turned to the night look, the overly revealing top just sent the outfit from business wear, to “open for business” wear, if you get my meaning. Kelli definitely made some bad choices, but considering she won a challenge, that should have at least given her some lead over Blayne. Guess I was wrong. And Daniel is a little full of himself, no?
“I have very high-end taste” said Daniel, when challenged about his participation, and lack of input. I was laughing right along with Kenley at that statement, but at least mine was appropriate…I was the audience! Not a fellow contestant! Such disrespect! Bottom line is Daniel has consistently to this point failed to show me this “high-end taste” he supposedly has. And he always looks like he's thisclose to bursting in tears when he gets flak from the judges.


So what did you guys think? Did you guys agree with Kelli going home, or should it have been Blayne? Were my observations on the mark? Is Terri your new favorite like me?
Let me hear you!! Chat it up!! Until next week…..auf “vajayjay”!!

Project Runway - Week Four

What in the world are some of these designers drinking? Some of the designers in this week’s challenge were so off the mark, their final outfits were laughable in the context of the challenge.

This week, the designers were told they need to design an outfit for all the team USA lady athletes for the opening ceremonies of the Summer Olympics. After meeting guest judge Apolo Ohno (sigh – such eye candy---but I digress), they were given 30 minutes to walk through the Summer Olympic museum to look at past opening ceremony outfits, to get inspiration and ideas for their design.

I, myself, have never been into the Olympics, nor have I have ever seen opening ceremonies. But you know what? That aside, from the brief cuts of what I was showed in the museum, I got an idea of what would be appropriate. Remember, I have no clue about design or Olympics, but I still had more of a clue then some of these designers. (I’m looking at you Jerell…and Daniel…and Kelli…or geez, might as well say it, pretty much everyone)

There were only 3-4 designers who came close to something resembling the needs of the challenge. What is it with these designers this year?

On top of that, I really really need Blayne to go home. He may have wanted to coin the term “girlicious”, but seems to be the one that’s sticking is probably not the one he wanted to be associated with: “tan-orexic”. This boy is seriously getting depressed because he’s not getting a chance to go tanning? Umm…are you serious? I mean, I know you stressed from the first show, you’re obsessed with tanning, blah, blah, blah….but seriously, are you really this superficial? And his designs haven’t exactly blown me over that I can overlook his whole tanning thing. Actually, scratch that, I CAN'T overlook the tanning thing period.

Let’s move on, shall we?
How did our designers do?

Blayne – Not sure this actually qualifies as something I would see in an Olympic ceremony. Is it me, or are the color he used not even read red or blue? The blue looked way too light to be real blue, and the red stripes looked pink. Honestly, I think I’ve sent this very outfit hanging on a mannequin in the Rainbow shop by my house. It felt uninspired to me. Oh and the fact that this orange-skinned boob didn’t know who Sgt.Pepper is? Not all young people are that stupid. This one is a special case, and I refuse to judge other young people on his ignorant idiocy.


Daniel – What happened? Yeesh, I know he said he was having trouble “getting” the challenge, but geez, even I got ideas for an outfit, and I’m not even a designer! This dress was awful awful awful. The only thing that saved him was the losing design was much worse. The color of his fabric was way too bright, and the shiny material made it distracting to look at. It really looks like a cocktail dress, as the judges pointed out. While I agree, the addition of the red cape/shawl thing would have been too “Wonder Woman”; I think he did need something else. Don’t get me wrong, nothing could save this dress from being in the bottom, but Daniel may have been able to squeak by if he added something else to the dress. Perhaps a bit of white somewhere to break up that shiny blue? Don’t know, but Daniel is very lucky to still be in after this disaster.


Jerell – I have no idea what this was supposed to be. It had nothing, and I mean nothing to do with the Olympics, athleticism, or anything else. One comment I remember hearing from one of the other designers is that it was straight out of Titanic. I get it. This reminds me of that garish outfit Rose wore in the beginning of the movie. The hat, the blouse, the weird striped skirt. NONE of it fit as an outfit appropriate outfit for the Summer Olympics ceremonies. I was sure either this one of the actual losing outfit were going home. I would have guessed this outfit as the loser, but I guess I was wrong.


Joe – One of the few designers who actually listened to the needs of the challenge. I actually liked this outfit, and thought it was going to win. One review I read on the TV Squad website said that she hated “skorts”, which is what Joe designed for the bottom half of this outfit. I actually didn’t think it looked that bad. I could definitely see the women wearing this outfit in the opening ceremonies, though I think the “USA” on the front was a bit tacky. I think the red and blue were accented just enough and subtle enough to make this one of my top choices. On a side note, I think Joe totally over-reacted to Daniel taking “his” sewing machine. I think it really did go down as Daniel said; he walked in, saw no one at the machine and used it. I don’t think there was any sabotage to it. And personally? I didn’t appreciate the “too many queens” comment from Joe. While I do agree, some of the more effeminate members do like to play up the drama, I don’t think we need to get derogatory.


Keith – I just didn’t see it. I just didn’t see “athlete” in this outfit at all. I saw what a girl would were strolling down 5th Avenue in the city, shopping with her friends. The skirt looked just too “stylish”, (though I use that term loosely) for an athlete. And I don’t like the high collar at all. Second week in a row, I’m not impressed Keith.





Kelli – I have no idea how this even fits into the whole them of the challenge. Much like Daniel’s, this was way off the mark. It screamed, SCREAMED, I Love Lucy. With the way the model’s hair was styled, along with the dated looking outfit, made this a true mess in every sense of the word. I didn’t see any sort of athletic style to this at all. Between the red-patterned blouse and the blue skirt, it looked like a country kitchen exploded and wrapped itself around a 50’s housewife. Ew.



Kenley – The colors were wrong. I kept thinking that to myself, because I think if she somehow would have worked in some red and blue, this outfit might have worked. (I stress, might) while I think the skirt rode up a little too high, I found the blouse too plain. More colors of the red and blue to accentuate the white would have worked well. The shade of blue Kenley chose looked definitely purple to me, so I chalk this up to colorblindness.




Korto – Out of all of the designs this is one of the two I would have chosen as the winner. (and granted, only because the rest of them were comparatively worse) It was simple design, but yet effective. I like the stitching on the pants, and the belt accented the outfit nicely. The think leather vest was a nice idea, but I would have like to see a little bit of blue thrown in there. Not much mind you, because I like the way the red plays off the shoulders. Perhaps just a thin line of blue outlining the red? Who knows, but what put this outfit over the top for me was not putting a tacky “USA” on it. I think that’s maybe what did Joe in. (or perhaps because his skort was too long?)


Leanne – I saw where Leanne was going with this outfit. I actually saw the athleticism in the design, and the shorts definitely played up that fact. It looked like a very cute tennis outfit! I think the point at which this outfit fell short were the color choices, and its lack of “pop”. I mean, it’s not a bad outfit, but as I said, it’s a tennis outfit, when it comes down to it. The red, white and blue “scarf” was a nice touch, though the blue looks more black. Maybe it would have “popped” more if she used a brighter shade of blue? Who knows? What I will say is this could have been the winner hands down if she just jazzed it up a bit. I think she phoned it in this week.


Stella – Ah, Stella. I really need to know this woman, just to see if she is just as insane and she makes herself out to be. So big shock, she goes with black material, which would not have been bad. In fact, I can tell you for sure, the outfit itself was designed perfectly for an athlete’s physique. (though I would have eliminated the belly-button hole. Talk about out of place….) The problems I have with it, are the red, white and blue pieces. For one, they are too dark. They are not bright enough to stand out on the black material. Second, is the placement of those pieces. They look too much like shoulder pads. On first sight, it looked like a superhero costume. It still looks like one to me. So kudos to Stella for making an athletic outfit, but her color choices, as usual, were off.


Suede – At least this week, we only heard him refer to himself in the third person just once. Again, much like a few of the others, at least it looked a little like it was made for an athlete, but it actually looked more like a cheerleader uniform. (Come on, tell me it doesn’t. Look at this thing!) All she needed was pom-poms and a letter on her shirt and the outfit would be complete. Suede etches by another week.




Terri – Okay, so I didn’t hate it. Wasn’t that thrilled with it either. It was a toss up for me. I like the tube top, and the pants were well constructed and looked stylish, but that jacket seems out of place for me. The weird scarf thing also looks out of place. I don’t know what constituted her being in the top 3, but it wasn’t the fact that this was a great outfit. I think she was put in because the other outfits were worse by comparison. I think if the jacket was a different color, or maybe styled different, it would have made the difference for me.


Jennifer – It was her time to go. Between last week’s matronly outfit, and this week’s similar matronly outfit, it was obvious were we seeing the most of what Jennifer was going to offer us all season. Do I begin with the completely wrong color choices for this challenge? Do I begin with the fact this does not look like something an athlete would wear to the Summer Olympics opening ceremony? Do I begin that the sweater-like vest made the model look like a mom, waiting for her kid to get out of school? (where the heck do I come up with these analogies?)I could begin at any one of those places, and it would all lead to the same conclusion; this girl reached her limit, and it was painfully obvious what the extent of her imagination was. It was her time to go, so this week, the right person went home. (count yourself lucky this time Jerell, Daniel, & Kelli!)


So what did you guys think? Did the right person go home? Was I off base on some of these outfits?
Let me hear you!! I would love to hear what you guys thought. Let me know! Chat it up!! Until next week…..auf wiedersehen!