Project Runway - Week Five

Welcome back to yet another week of bad fashion choices and annoying personalities!! No, I’m not speaking of the next season of Flavor of Love, I’m talking about this week’s latest episode of Project Runway.

This week, the designers were challenged to create an outfit for special guest judge Brooke Shields’ character on Lipstick Jungle to wear. The outfit needed to be something that would be appropriate for both working and going out afterwards; basically, a day to night outfit. I remember this challenge from past seasons, but this time they added the accessory of it being for Brooke’s character on her TV show. The prize, appropriately enough, would be that Brooke would wear the winning design on a future episode of Jungle.

This was the first “team” challenge of the season, so there were quite a few interesting match ups. Team challenges always bring the drama, so I was waiting for the fur to start flying. I was not disappointed. There wasn’t so much friction, but damn, the lines that were said were hysterical. (Terri is my new favorite, solely based on her description of Suede in her confessional moment. My God, I’m still laughing as I write this. If you missed it, read on to find out what she said)

As for the outfits that came out of this challenge, I would say I liked half of them. The other half? Ugh. Off the mark. One outfit in particular screamed “this designer doesn’t have a clue”. (Looking at you Blayne)

Also, the count of annoying things is down this week:
Number of times “licious” is said by Blayne: 1
Number of times Suede refers to himself in the third person: 1

I know I talked enough, so lets get to the designs:

Jerell & Stella – Talk about your odd couple! But you know what? They churned out, in my opinion, the best outfit out of them all. (yes, including the winning outfit ---totally disagreed with that) The outfit was chic, with just a touch of sex appeal that wasn’t too over the top. It was a perfect blend of office business, and post-work festivities. Even “out there” as she is, Stella managed to tone down her craziness enough to produce a very stylish outfit with Jerell. Let’s be honest, Jerell needed to keep his head in the game after the disaster that walked down the runway last week. This outfit most definitely deserved to win, but apparently the judges were smoking something off camera, so it came in second. Good job for this team!


Joe & Korto – I don’t care if they did “tighten” up the top, it still looked like “a giant sweet potato”, as my idol, Tim Gunn described it. Korto got upset with Joe for not mentioning his feelings about the top sooner. While I do agree, Joe should have spoken up, the over all design to me is flawed. The top is just too baggy for my tastes, and the color is completely wrong. The orange color is too bright for an office environment, and the sleeves are way too open ended. I like the way the front of the top was constructed, but the over all look screamed “sweet potato!”. But out of all the dress choices, I was okay giving this one a pass to the next round. (only because two of the others dresses were more horrid by comparison).



Suede & Terri – I nearly fell off my sofa laughing, thanks to Terri. To remind you, Suede was being all whiny, “I’m not comfortable cutting this”, whiny, anxious, whiny, being overly careful, etc…did I mention whiny? It was getting on Terri’s nerves, having to babysit Suede through some of the design process. (as was evident when she was standing over him, while he sewed some of the top). This is, of course, is what prompted arguably one of the best lines in Project Runway history. In her confessional, Terri says, and I quote; “I don't know what he's packing, balls or vajayjay, but he needs to work that out. I ain't got no babies, ain't nobody sucking on my t--ties, so please, man up.''
I will give you a few minutes to recover from laughing before I continue.

As for the final outfit they produced? I would say not bad at all. I think the judges got it right when they gave them a pass to next week. While I didn’t think it was a winning top design, I didn’t think it was bad enough to land in the bottom. I think the style was a bit more “going out” wear, then business wear, but over all, a very cute outfit. Love the combo of the black slacks with the colorful top, so props to this duo! ……heh heh…”vajayjay”…definitely liking Terri.



Kenley & Keith – I didn’t hate this dress. Didn’t think it was better then Jerell and Stella’s however. I thought the skirt was a bit too long, but I did like the top. The colors were fresh and made the outfit pop, and the added feature of the breakaway sleeve were well constructed. But besides the top, I thought the skirt was a bit much. One of the judges commented how it might be a little too “cocktail” dressy for the workplace, and I tend to agree. It looks a bit too casual for a business environment, but not more then some other designers. (looking at you, Mr. Tan-orexic) I didn’t think this outfit deserved to take the win, but it wasn’t the worst. Win or no win, Keith is still failing to really impress me. And what was with Kenley’s inappropriate laughing at Daniel? I thought they were buddies? Talk about awkward. She was pretty much laughing at his face, dismissing him as a designer. I see future drama building up.



Blayne & Leanne – I’m beginning to think this kid is as clueless to modern fashion trends as Stella is to non-leather fabrics. Where in the world does he get the idea that his super, skin-tight bicycle shorts are appropriate business wear?! For the purposes of the challenge, I don’t think it fit either scenario. I don’t think it was a good business look, nor do I think it was a good “going out” look. It looked sloppy, and as one of the judges put it (I believe it was Kors), “it looks as if she got dressed in the dark”. Ouch. Sad, but true. How did Blayne not go home?! I understand that Kelli’s was an equal mess, but at least Kelli one a challenge (the first one), where as Blayne has won nothing, on top of not even showing us good designs. And don’t get me started on Leanne! The whole “nerdy designer” look is cute, but she needs to speak up on further team ups. Considering the kind of outfits I’ve seen her put out, I don’t believe for a second she thought shorts were a good idea. Finally, both shame and kudos to you Brooke Shields; shame for picking Blayne as one of your design choices to begin with; and kudos for calling him “bratty”. Truer words were never spoken.



Kelli & Daniel – This could have won. I can see the vision of the dress as it could have been, but alas something went terribly wrong along the way. The whole outfit looks ill-fitting. The leopard print just did not look right as a pattern on this dress. And whoa! When that jacket came off to reveal the backless tank top like top, it screamed “call girl”. “Slutty, slutty, slutty” as Michael Kors said. The business look was poorly constructed, and when it turned to the night look, the overly revealing top just sent the outfit from business wear, to “open for business” wear, if you get my meaning. Kelli definitely made some bad choices, but considering she won a challenge, that should have at least given her some lead over Blayne. Guess I was wrong. And Daniel is a little full of himself, no?
“I have very high-end taste” said Daniel, when challenged about his participation, and lack of input. I was laughing right along with Kenley at that statement, but at least mine was appropriate…I was the audience! Not a fellow contestant! Such disrespect! Bottom line is Daniel has consistently to this point failed to show me this “high-end taste” he supposedly has. And he always looks like he's thisclose to bursting in tears when he gets flak from the judges.


So what did you guys think? Did you guys agree with Kelli going home, or should it have been Blayne? Were my observations on the mark? Is Terri your new favorite like me?
Let me hear you!! Chat it up!! Until next week…..auf “vajayjay”!!